I wonder, what does one call a group of raccoons, like more than three or so. I mean there are litters of kittens and puppies, herds of cows and deer and moose, pods of whales, flocks of birds, prides of lions, packs of wolves, gaggles of geese; do raccoon groups have a special name?
Not so long ago I was getting the cats in because I was going to be gone for awhile. One was behind a large pot on the patio, in which lives the plant eating tree that calls herself Hibiscus. I refer to her as the plant eating tree because as a Mother's Day gift my younger son bought a large, large pot (One needs a dolly to move it.) and filled it with multiple plantings for me. However, the plant eating tree that calls herself Hibiscus and who grows to about four feet tall each year, shortly had somehow deposed and banished all the other plants, taking over the pot; hence, her name. It suits her.
As I went out to retrieve the truant cat I closed the patio door behind me so no others would come back out and the burglar bar fell and locked me out. I was nonplussed. There was no way back in. I climbed over the fence to get to my front door, wondering if I had left it unlocked; although I knew there was no chance that I had because of Richard Chase.
Richard Chase was an insane and delusional young man who lived in Sacramento, CA in the 1970s. He became convinced that some outside force was turning his blood to powder and that he needed to replace it or die. For months he killed animals for their blood, but as his delusion became more involved he determined that he needed human blood. His victims were selected at random. He would walk down a street, trying front doors. When he found one unlocked he would enter and kill anyone in the home. If the door was locked he would pass on to the next house. He never attempted to break in.
Whenever I go to my children's homes if one has left the door unlocked I enter berating them and say, "Richard Chase!" They always claim they had unlocked the door because they saw me approaching and that is probably true. They have had me screaming "Richard Chase!" at them since childhood and they don't leave their doors unlocked, even when home.
So, thanks to Richard Chase, who killed and died long ago, my front door was as securely locked as my patio door. I went to a neighbor's and called for a key to be brought over and sat on the steps in front of my door to wait. In a few minutes I became aware of rustling in the shrubs by me and looked over to see four or five raccoons under the bushes, looking out at me and at each other.
It was the time of night that I always put out their food. They are used to me and if they hear me walking they might start to run, not knowing who I am, but once I speak and they hear my voice they will come back for the food they know I have. I had their food ready in the house, which was locked. I had been going to put it out after I got all the cats in.
They continued to move around restlessly, not knowing why their dinners were not forthcoming. I told them I would get the food in a minute, but raccoons apparently are all about instant gratification. Occasionally one would exit the bushes and stand by me, glaring, before returning to the group. Then they would all line up and stare at me, sending waves of guilt with psychic energy. I apologized profusely and fortunately within a few minutes had a key, went in, and got their dinners; so, all was forgiven, but it did seem, as they ate and looked at each other, they were saying, "What the hell was that about? Why was she just sitting there? Didn't she see us waiting?"
During the uncomfortable minutes of their impatience and scrutiny I had random thoughts; one of which was to wonder if there was a name for a group of raccoons. I don't know about all raccoons, but this group was a gang; for mutual protection and support, for identity, for acceptance, all the same reasons there are human gangs, one supposes. So, whatever you call the groups of raccoons who live around you, I call mine a gang. I live with a unique and special gang of raccoons and we are a mutual admiration society.
